


Fight For Me

by Advocate_267



Category: Darkwing Duck (Cartoon 1991)
Genre: Attempted Suicide, Based on Heathers, Bullying, F/M, Heathers AU, Highschool AU, Murder, Romance, Teen Angst, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27434149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Advocate_267/pseuds/Advocate_267
Summary: September 1st1991Dear DiaryI believe I’m a good person. Sure, a little nerdy, a bit shy, I get the desire to stick my fingers in a socket every day or so, but that’s beside the point. I believe there is good in everyone, even those who have a hard job of showing it.
Relationships: Megavolt & Quackerjack (Disney), Megavolt (Disney)/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 7





	1. Fight For Me

**Author's Note:**

> Another AU for me to throw Megavolt, Lexi and Quackerjack into. This is based on both the Heathers movie and musical.

_ September 1st _

_ 1991 _

_ Dear Diary _

_ I believe I’m a good person. Sure, a little nerdy, a bit shy, I get the desire to stick my fingers in a socket every day or so, but that’s beside the point. I believe there is good in everyone, even those who have a hard job of showing- _

“What you writing about, nerd?!”

Elmo Sputterspark suddenly felt a presence behind him. From his place on the school bench he turned around, met with the mean face of Hamm String. Elmo gulped.

“Uh, nothing important Hamm.” 

“I bet it’s a pathetic love letter to your non-existent girlfriend. Not that I care.” The large pig boy plucked the notepad out of Elmo’s hand, tossing it over his shoulder and into a puddle. Elmo’s heart sank. He had his homework also written in that book. 

Hamm took great pleasure in the distraught look on the teenage rat’s face, laughing loudly. He shoved Elmo’s shoulder before making his exit.

“See ya later, pointdexter!”

Elmo sighed, rushing over to where his book had been thrown. It was pretty much ruined, water seeped into the pages, anything written inside practically unreadable. Elmo’s ears pricked up as the bell rang, indicating first class was about to start. Sadly he shoved his notepad in the nearest bin, he had no use for it now, and headed along with the other students inside the building.

* * *

Lunchtime rolled around and with it more chances to be accosted by unruly students. Elmo stood in the lunch line, hands gripping his tray tightly. He almost dropped it when someone suddenly popped up next to him.

“Hey, Elmo!”

“Ah!” He spun around, instantly calming when he realised it was only his best friend, Jacky. 

Elmo and Jacky had been buds ever since they were toddlers, despite their clashing personalities. Jacky was loud, both with his voice and clothing choices, and the class clown. He loved making others laugh, even at the cost of his own self-esteem. There was one key similarity between the pair: they were definitely not cool kids.

“Look out, wide load coming through!” Hamm chose that exact moment to appear, knocking Jacky’s lunch tray out his hands. “Haha!” 

Elmo felt rage course through his body at the display. Sure, Jacky was a little on the pudgy side for a duck but that didn’t give anyone the right to insult him. 

“Hey, pick that up!” He commands in his nasally, not-that-intimidating voice. Hamm pulls a nasty face, getting up in Elmo’s personal bubble. 

“I’m sorry, are you actually talking to me?”

“Y-yes I am.” Elmo stands his ground, despite the wobbling of his knees. “I want to know what gives you the right to pick on my friend?” 

“Besides the fact that I’m captain of the football team and you two are just a pair of bed-wetting nerds?” Hamm narrowed his eyes. Elmo didn’t have a counter for that, lowering his head and backing down. Hamm took that as an initiative to smack Elmo’s tray out his hands too. 

“That’s what I thought.” 

Laughing he wandered away to sit with his friends, leaving the two teenagers alone. 

“That no-good swine!” Jacky cursed once he was gone, bending down to pick up his tray. Elmo grabbed his own, sending a sympathetic look towards his friend. 

“Don’t let him get to you, Jacky.” 

“I can’t help it, he’s just so... _ ugh.”  _ The duck stuck out his tongue in disgust. Elmo agreed but couldn’t find the energy to get worked up about it. The pair got their lunch and sat down at the far end of the cafeteria, as far away from their tormentors as they could. 

Speaking off, Preena Lott and her clique had just entered the cafeteria. The short girl strutted along like she owned the place, her underlings filing behind her. However there was one of them Elmo didn’t recognise, a girl who looked extremely out of place in the group. 

She was a tall, slim possum. Her attire, in contrast to Preena’s preppy looks, shifted towards punk style, with a cut-off purple tartan skirt, crop top, chunky black boots and an abundance of accessories. Each ear had at least three piercings and Elmo was sure he could spot a bar in her belly button too. The most noticeable thing about her was her hair, short and shock pink, styled in a kind of side-mohawk. Elmo hurriedly whispered to Jacky. 

“Who’s that?” 

“Lexi Shocks,” Jacky replied, eyeing the group with distaste. They sat a few tables away, Preena’s voice able to be heard even above all the noise in the cafeteria. “She’s in my Science class. Quiet girl, brighter than the rest of those airheaded slappers she hangs around with.”

Elmo watched the possum teen, noticing the bored look on her face as the other girls chatted. “Why do you suppose she’s with them?” 

“Beats me, why not go and ask her?” 

Elmo looked at his friend as if he’d gone insane. “You mad? I can’t do that!” 

Jacky rolled his eyes. “C’mon Elmo, I can tell you’re interested in her.” 

“It’s not like that, I don’t even  _ know  _ her.” 

“Well now is better than ever. Go!” With a painless shove Elmo was sent stumbling off his seat and in the direction of the girl’s table. He straightened himself before making his way over, praying for him to keep his cool. 

Preena was busy gossiping when a shadow fell over their table. She looked up, met with the nervous face of Elmo. The rat felt his cheeks heat as the rest of the girls looked his way, including Lexi. 

“H-hey, ladies.”

Preena scoffed. “What do you want, geek?”

Elmo wracked his brain for something he could say, anything that wouldn’t make him look like a fool.

“Um, I’m doing a lunch time poll and was wondering if you could answer my question?” 

Nailed it.

“For real?” Preena let out a high-pitched laugh. Elmo shrunk back, going redder. “Get lost, freak.”

The other girls joined in her mean-spirited giggling, aside from one. Her voice cut through over the rabble. “No, I wanna hear it.”

Immediately Preena rounded on her. “The hell, Lexi?”

“I wanna hear what he has to say.” Lexi repeated. Her eyes fixed on Elmo. “Shoot.”

“O-okay. Say you inherit five million dollars the same day aliens land on the earth and say they’re going to blow it up in two day. What do you do?” 

Lexi’s eyebrows raised. She chuckled, though not unkindly. “That’s a very odd question.” 

Elmo prepared for backlash, to be mocked further, but was surprised when she came out with an actual answer. 

“Probability splash out on some theme park tickets and spend the whole forty-eight hours riding roller coasters and stuffing myself with cotton candy.” She grinned, making Elmo’s insides erupt with butterflies. He covered it up with a wobbly smile. 

“How very.”

“Hey, I thought this table had a no fags allowed rule.” 

Elmo’s temporary bliss was interpreted by a rough hand on his shoulder. Hamm. The rat paled, prepared for a beating in the centre of the cafeteria. 

“Ah yes, but they seem to have an open door policy for arseholes though.” Lexi piped up, a look of anger crossing her features. “Bugger off, Hamm, he wasn’t hurting anyone.” 

That seemed to tick Hamm off even more and he pushed Elmo aside so he could get closer to her. 

“What did you say, skank?”

“I’ll repeat myself.” Lexi suddenly stood up. Seemingly from nowhere she produced a knuckle duster and in one smooth movement her fist made contact with Hamm’s skull. The blow wasn’t strong enough to knock him out but it rendered him stunned, clutching his face in pain. Preena screamed, students looked on in shock and Elmo’s eyes blew wide. He stood rigid, unable to process what just happened. Eventually he tore his gaze away from the chaos with Hamm to meet Lexi’s eye. 

She nodded, smirked, and left the cafeteria, long tail swinging behind her. 

* * *

“The hell were you thinking girl?!” 

Lexi barely flinched as the door to the girls bathroom was kicked in, a furious Preena entering. She shrugged, staring into the mirror as she touched up her black lipstick.

“Hamm was being a twat. I taught him a lesson.”

Preena snorted, snatching the lipstick out of her hand. “Listen here, missy, you leave my boyfriend alone!” 

Lexi rounded on her, cold fury in her eyes. “Or what?” 

Preena smiled evilly. “Or you’re out of the clique.” 

Lexi looked unimpressed, turning back to the mirror to check her hair. “Big deal, I never wanted to be part of your stupid gang anyway.” 

“But did you forget, you sleazy little trash cat.” Preena put her hands on her hips, chin tilted up in a look of supremacy. “I own this school, or did you have a brain tumour for breakfast and forget? I can make your life a living hell.” 

Lexi looked at her reflection, pondering the words. She didn’t enjoy being part of Preena’s stuck-up posse but she didn’t have much choice. She was in for a school life of misery either way, better to keep her enemies close. 

“Alright,” Lexi eventually got out through gritted teeth. “I’m sorry.” 

“You better be.” Preena didn’t look any happier but at least she’s dropped her raging stance.  “I hope you won’t pull anything like that at the party tonight.”

Lexi scoffed. “Again with the party. Why am I going again?” 

“Because  _ you’re _ part of my group.” Preena sided up to the possum, tone taking on a sickly sweet edge. Her arm roped around Lexi’s neck. “And my group stick together. Am I right?” 

It pained Lexi to say it, it really did, but it had to be done. She forced a smile, though it came across as more of a grimace.

“You’re right.”

“Of course I am.” Preena finally released Lexi’s neck, along with her lipstick, slamming it on the sink with a bit too much force. She then turned on her heel, marching towards the door. 

“I’ll pick you up at eight.” Preena said without looking back. “Wear something that doesn’t make you look like a slutty anarchist.”

Lexi’s hand clamped into a fist but instead of Preena’s head it met the glass of the mirror, leaving a tidy indent and her knuckles bloody. 


	2. Freeze Your Brain

Elmo pushed up the door to Seven Eleven, welcomed by the familiar smells he’d grown to love. He was alone tonight, Jacky was grounded, but that didn’t damper the rat’s mood too much. Slowly he padded to his goal: the slushie machine. A cup was whipped benief the spout and soon a flow of ice-cold sugary goodness filled it.

“Hey.” 

Elmo was so wrapped up in getting his treat he didn’t register the voice behind him. It took a tap to the shoulder, a gesture that almost had him jumping out of his skin, to finally get his attention. 

He whirled around, greeted by the last person he’d expected to find, Lexi. 

She was done up, dressed in a strapless black dress with matching platform boots, obviously on her way to a party somewhere. She didn’t notice his bug-eyed staring, letting out a sheepish giggle. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay,” Elmo replied, resuming a relaxed stance. “You don’t scare me, contrary to the rest of Preena’s gang.” 

“Wow, that’s quite a compliment.” She whistled, pressing her hand to her chest in a flattered manner. “Sorry, but I never caught your name today?” 

“It’s Elmo, Elmo Sputterspark.” He introduced himself, holding out his hand. She took it in her gloved one, the leather warm.

“My name’s Lexi.”

“I know, my friend Jacky is in your science class.”

“The duck with braces?”

“That’s the one.” Elmo confirmed, moving on to the question plaguing his mind. “You know, that thing you pulled in the café today was pretty severe. Why did you do that, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Well, the extreme always seems to make an impression. You were doing nothing wrong and Hamm’s just a dickhead.” She picked a twizzler out of a jar sitting on the counter, chewing on it absently. “I can’t stand bullies.”

“Then why do you hang out with Preena and her gang?” The rat questioned. Lexi looked guilty for a tick, letting out a loaded sigh. 

“It’s complicated.” She gestured to the slushie machine. “Pass me a cup, will ya?”

“I’ll do you one better,” Elmo moved his cup to the side, grabbing one for her. “I’ll pay, as a thank you for standing up for me.” He shot her a shy grin. “Now did you say cherry or coke flavour?” 

“I didn’t.” Lexi smiled back. “Cherry.” 

* * *

They exited the Seven Eleven together, both with slushies in hand. Elmo headed towards his moped, sitting down on the seat. 

“Nice wheels you got there.” Lexi commented, looking over the bike in appreciation. Elmo tried not to wince. It honestly wasn’t very impressive, being the only thing he could afford on his measly allowance. But the fact that a girl found it ‘nice’ rather than pathetic was a real confidence booster. 

“Thanks, just a humble perk from my Mom’s job.” 

“Wait, Sputterspark?” Lexi had a sudden realisation, knowing she’d heard that name somewhere. “As in the scientist Mrs Sputterspark? That’s your mum?” 

“Yep.” Elmo confirmed. There was a slight bitterness to his voice. “I suppose I should be proud, but it’s hard to be when she’s working almost twenty four seven.” 

"You ain't got a father?"

"Nope, committed suicide a long time ago."

“Oh. I'm sorry." Lexi tipped her head in sympathy. "It must be hard having to be alone all the time.” Elmo shrugged. 

“Everyone’s life has got static. Is your life perfect?”

Lexi gave a humourless laugh. “Oh yeah, I’m on my way to a party I don’t even want to go to.” 

A honk sound across the car park and an impatient Preena lent out the side of her car window.

“Hurry it up bitch, we’re gonna be late!” 

Lexi raised her middle finger at her, then turned back to Elmo. “No, my life is not perfect. I don’t really like my friends.”

Elmo shook his head. “Yeah I, uh, don’t really like you friends either.” He looked up at her, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Maybe it’s time to take a vacation.” 

“I’ll think about it.” Lexi leaned down to his level. “Thanks for the slushie.” And with a peck to his cheek she dashed off, jumping into the passenger seat of Preena’s car.

Elmo watched them drive away, rubbing the spot where her lips had been moments ago.


	3. Dead Girl Walking

The party was just as Lexi feared: boorish, unpleasant, music lame and the guests even more so. The only perk was the alcohol, which she downed in a frenzied attempt to numb herself to the idiots around her. 

It was when someone got a bit too handsy, a college boy who cared little for her, just after a quick lay, that it became too much. Lexi stormed out the room and down the corridor, intent on leaving. 

She was caught by Preena, the pig girl equally sloshed. She didn’t look pleased at Lexi attempting to turn in so early.

“Where you going, sweetie? The party’s only just getting started.” 

“Not now, Preena.” Lexi attempted to shake her off. “I feel really fuckin’ sick.”

“Oh boohoo.” Preena mocked. “Suck it up, bitch. We’re not leaving until I say so-“

Lexi felt her stomach heave and unable to make it anywhere else she bent over, spewing all over Preena’s red dress. The screech the girl gave was blood-curdling and Lexi took that as her incentive to bolt, stomping through the crowd. 

She made it as far as outside before Preena caught up to her. 

“You stupid fuck!”

Lexi paused, twisting round to fire back “You goddamn bitch!” 

“Listen here, trash cat, you were nothing before me! Just a weird delinquent with a stupid-ass accent. And what’s my thanks? I get paid in puke!” She pointed furiously at her ruined dress. 

Lexi raised her head, emphasising just how much height she had on the shorter girl, a satisfied smirk on her lips.

“Luck it up, baby. Lick. It. Up.”

Preena’s mouth dropped open. “Monday morning you’re history.” She stated grimly

Lexi scoffed, turning on her heel. “I’m so sacred.” 

* * *

It was late and streets were dark but, thankfully, deserted as Lexi stumbled her way home, mulling over the night’s events. As much as she felt confident at the time of confrontation in reality she did fear what Preena had planned for her. The girl was brain dead when it came to schoolwork but she was mighty inventive with revenge. 

Lexi beat her fists against her head.  _ Stupid! Why did you have to go and do that?! _

She was a dead girl walking. Thirty hours to live until Preena undoubtedly made her life hell. Strangely the thought made her reflect back on Elmo’s question earlier in the day. 

_ You inherit five million dollars the same day aliens land on the earth and say they’re going to blow it up in two days. What do you do? _

Her answer to the question seemed almost stupid now and thinking of the cute rat boy made her long for his company in her last days. 

Lexi’s swaying jaunt had brought her down an unfamiliar street. She squinted, trying to make out anything in the dark that could clue her in to her whereabouts. In the driveway of one house she spotted something that piped her interest and she hurriedly wandered over, almost falling over her own feet in the process.

It was a blue moped, exactly the same as the one Elmo owned. Excited Lexi looked to the door of the house, her heart jumping as she read the name.

_ Sputterspark. _

The chances of her ending up here were minute but Lexi wasn’t going to question it. She gazed up at the second floor window. The curtains were drawn but light could be seen through them. 

Immediately Lexi knew what she wanted to do before her social execution. 

There was a tree in the front yard and Lexi wasted no time scaling it. The process was awkward due to her inebriated state but adrenaline spurred her on. Once she reached the window she pounded on it with all her might to gain the attention of the rat inside. 

Elmo was quick to answer, gasping as soon as he caught sight of the possum clinging to the branch. She wiggled her fingers in greeting. 

“Hi, Elmo!”

“Lexi, what in Edison’s name are you doing?” Elmo flung open the window, allowing Lexi to clamber inside. She righted herself and dusted off her dress, Elmo crossing his arms.

“Well?” He wasn’t angry, just curious. Lexi didn’t look in the best shape and he could smell a strong mix of alcohol on her breath. 

“Long story short, aliens have landed and the end of the world is coming.” Lexi stated, swaying slightly on the spot. “Well, the end of my world. Preena is gonna hunt me down on Monday and probably mount my sorry head on the wall.”

Elmo’s eyebrows raised. Preena was a nasty piece of work but she’d never threatened to actually off someone before. “What did you  _ do _ ?”

“Doesn’t matter about her, what matters is right now.” She stepped forward, placing her finger under Elmo’s chin to gently tilt his head up.  “Remember my answer to your poll?”

He swallowed. “Yeah?”

“Well I changed it.” Her voice was no more than a breathy whisper, moving in so their noses touched. “I want you, Elmo. You’re my last meal on death row.” 

She claimed his lips, hands moving up to run though his tuff of brown hair. The kiss was rough, Lexi leading, but Elmo found himself moving with her. 

His voice quivered as they broke apart, unable to believe this was actually happening. 

“You s-sure?”

Lexi’s eyes practically glowed with desire. “Definitely.” 

* * *

Elmo glanced at one of his many clocks in the room, reading 3am. He and Lexi were cuddled up in his bed, their clothes littering the floor. Lexi sighed, nuzzling his neck. 

“For your first time that was pretty impressive.” She states, breaking the sleepy silence. Elmo had been embarrassed to admit it but finding out it was a new venture for Lexi too had put him at ease. She pecked the side of his head. “Thank you.”

He smiled bashfully. “You’re welcome.”

“What a night,” Lexi rolled onto her back, rubbing at her eyes with the heel of her palms. “What a fucking life.”

Elmo stayed quiet, staring at the ceiling, thinking. He wanted to help Lexi with her predicament but, aside from their impromptu loving session, couldn’t come up with anything substantial. How could he stop a raging psychopath? He was but a lowly nerd. It made him frustrated beyond belief. 

“Preena Lott is one mean bitch who deserves to die,” he mumbled. It was so unlike him to think like that but dastardly people will do things to your sense of moral. Lexi agreed.

“You’re right.” She says, pouting. “But the world is just unfair.”

“I got an idea.” Elmo pipes. Lexi turners towards him, intrigued. “Preena’s bound to be hungover after tonight. What do you say we head over there in the morning and conduct her a cure she won’t soon forget?”

Lexi smirked, going in for another kiss. “My evil little genius.”

Slowly she climbs back on top of him, celebratory snogging soon turning into something more. 


	4. Me Inside Of Me

The morning found Elmo and Lexi sneaking into the expansive house of Preena Lott. Luckily her parents didn’t seem to be around and the door, which Lexi knew the code to, posed no issue for the pair. Soon they were in the kitchen, ready to whip up Elmo’s infamous hangover medicine.

“So what were you thinking for the best upchuck factor?” Lexi said, reaching into the fridge. “Orange Juice and milk mix?”

Meanwhile Elmo dug underneath the sink, producing a blue bottle of bleach. He placed it on the counter and went looking for a cup.

“I was thinking something a bit more ‘chemical based’.”

“Don’t be a wanker.” The possum remarked, rolling her eyes. “It’ll kill her.” 

He looked at her with sudden seriousness. “Wasn’t that the idea?” 

Lexi froze. She had wished death upon Preena Lott many times, to actually be the cause of it was another story. She hummed, impressed. 

“Wow, you really are an evil genius.” She grasped the orange juice and milk, laying them next to the bleach. “But sadly I’m not in the mood to hide a body. Move.” 

Elmo sidestepped, allowing her to grab a cup identical to the one he’d just filled with the blue liquid. She began pouring the two breakfast drinks. 

“Though I wouldn’t object to your idea if I was fully functioning and not mildly hungover. Come Monday I may have to slip a little into her water bottle.” 

The rat placed his hand on hers, guiding her to put the carton down. Shyly he caught her lips in a chaste kiss. Elmo grinned, pulling back. “Now who’s the evil genius?” 

Lexi giggled. Not thinking she grabbed the closest cup to her and made for Preena’s room. 

* * *

The pig girl’s bedroom was a sea of pink elegance. Preena herself lay amongst silk sheets in a queen-sized bed at the centre of the space. She bolted up as the pair entered, letting out an enraged gasp.

“The hell are you two doing in my house?!”

“I came to apologise,” Lexi began calmly, the cup hidden behind her back. “Last night we both said some things I think we regret.”

Preena snorted, brushing some hair out her face. “Did we really?” 

“Yes, me and Elmo have come to make it up to you.” Lexi reviled the cup, holding it before Preena like a grand prize. 

“We whipped this up, it’s a hangover cure.” Elmo put in. “Old family recipe.”

“Did you spit in it or something?” Preena turned her nose up at it. “I’m not gonna drink that piss.” 

“Huh, you hear that Lexi?” Elmo cocked an eyebrow at his companion. “I knew this stuff would be intense for her.” 

“ _Intense.”_ The pig girl scoffed. “Grow up, geek. You really think I’m going to drink it just because you called me chicken?”

Both Lexi and Elmo nodded, sharing a mocking look. Preena huffed, climbing out of bed and holding her hand out. 

“Just give me the cup, trash cat.” 

Lexi smirked. “Gladly.” 

Preena took it, downing the liquid in one quick gulp. Excitedly Lexi waited, for sweet revenge was about to be served. But nothing happened. Preena stood, wide-eyed, before inexplicably begging to choke. She flailed, horrid gurgling noises emanating from the back of her throat, before falling like a deadweight to the floor. Her body twitched a couple times before coming to rest, deathly silent.

Lexi had her hands over her mouth, unable to fathom what she’d just witnessed. 

“Oh my god…” She gasped, staring in horror at the dead body of her enemy. “I can’t believe it. We just killed Preena Lott.” 

Elmo was equally in shock, breath coming ragged. He pulled at his hair nervously, pacing the room. 

“What are we gonna tell the cops?” He looked to Lexi for an answer, the girl having lowered herself onto the stool at Preena’s vanity.

“I-I don’t know!” she fretted. “Oh God, I can’t believe this is my life!”

“N-now don’t panic.” Elmo came over, putting his hands on her shoulders in a calming gesture. “What if there was some way we could make this look like an accident?” 

Lexi looked up, eyes brightening slightly as an idea formed in her mind. “Like...suicide?” She suddenly tore open the draw to the vanity, pulling out a notebook and pen. At Elmo’s perplexed look she elaborated.

“It’s one of the only reasons she kept me around, I can replicate almost anyone’s handwriting, including Preena’s own.” She snapped off the lid of the pen. “We gotta make this thing sound convincing, any ideas?”

“Um, _you might think what I’ve done is shocking.”_

“Yeah…” Lexi began to scribble it down in Preen’s flowing scrawl. 

“ _To me though suicide is the natural answer to the myriad of problems life has given me.”_

“That’s good.”

“ _People think just because you’re beautiful and popular life is easy and fun. No one understood I had feelings too.”_

 _“I die knowing no one knew the real me.”_ Lexi finished off. She looked over the note, proud of how close she was able to get to Preena’s own writing. 

They slipped it by her bed in an inconspicuous position and Elmo took Lexi’s arm, leading her away from the body.

“C’mon I don’t know about you but I could use a slushie.” 

They left in high spirits, off to celebrate the loss of their tormentor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, such a sweet psychotic little couple, aren't they?


	5. Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed some more characters to fill out Preena's gang so Claire (from the comics) and Splatter Phoenix make an appearance here.

A strange feeling hung over the school Monday morning. Whispers were being exchanged left right and centre, everyone with ‘Preena Lott’ and ‘Suicide’ on their tounges.

Lexi did her best to avoid Preena’s gang. It wasn’t that hard, they were too wrapped up with grief to bother with the punk. Elmo too found solitude that Hamm was leaving him alone for the time being, also mourning the loss of his precious girlfriend. 

By the time school was over both were tired of hearing about it, heading over to Elmo’s house to relax. Even there they couldn’t escape it, every tv station seemed to be playing interviews from school concerning Preena’s passing.

“We were in the same English class together, I always looked forward to seeing her."

“What are you talking about?!” Lexi yelled at her classmate talking on the tv. “You hated her and she hated you!”

“Preena Lott’s more popular than ever.” Elmo remarked, flicking the tv off, having had enough of that rabble. Just as he did so the front door opened, both teens looking up as an adult female rat entered. She appeared frazzled, carrying a large box of equipment and muttering to herself. 

She passed the pair, not paying much attention, before suddenly freezing on the spot and backtracking, staring at them in surprise.

“Good grief, Elmo, is that a girl I see?” 

“Yes, mom,” Elmo says in a tired voice. “This is Lexi, my...girlfriend.”

“Seriously? I go away for five days and come back to you having a girlfriend!” 

She beams, throwing her box down and holding out her hand. “Greetings, I’m Mrs Sputterspark.”

“Nice to meet you.” Lexi smiles politely, shaking her hand. 

“Very pleased to meet you too. It’s great to see Elmo finally getting over himself and bringing a girl home.” 

“ _Mom_ ,” Elmo griped, crossing his arms. “don’t you have an experiment to get back to?” 

“Oh, you’re right!” She hoisted her box back up again, making for the stairs. “There’s money on the counter for dinner, feel free to stay, Lexi.” 

With that she disappeared into her lab, unlikely to leave for the next twenty four hours.

Lexi hummed. “She seems…”

“Eccentric? Mad? You can be honest, I won’t be offended.”

The possum grinned. “I like her.”

Elmo sighed, putting his arm around Lexi's shoulders and pulling her close. “You would.” 

* * *

The day of the funeral arrived. Lexi and Elmo sat at the back, eyes dry as the ceremony commenced. It was a rather extravagant affair with a large turn out, both with Preena’s family and classmates. 

After the main ceremony Lexi was cornered by Claire, one of Preena’s closest friends. 

“Hey Lexi, can I talk to you a moment? Alone.” 

Lexi was wary, Claire had never spoken to her unless absolutely necessary, but the girl did look rather desperate right now, face stained with tears and makeup messy. 

“Fine.” She left Elmo in the church, heading outside with Claire. “What do you want?”

“You know Hamm has been really torn up after Preena’s passing. I’ve been trying to comfort him and I’ve got an idea. Me, Phoenix and him were going to head out tonight and we want you to come along.”

“What? Why?!” That idea was about as appealing as putting a bullet through her own skull.

Claire sniffed. “You were part of the gang, it’s what Preena would have wanted.” 

“Well Preena can kiss my-“ Lexi’s rant was cut off as some members of Preena’s family came trotting down the steps. It must have been her mother and father, both looked absolutely distraught, the lady pig sobbing into a soaked tissue. 

Guilt pooled in Lexi’s stomach and she found herself reluctantly agreeing. 

“Alright, fine.” 

“Great, let’s go!” Claire grabbed her arm, dragging her towards her car. Lexi tried to pull out of her grip.

“But, Elmo!”

“Forget the geek, we've gotta get you ready.” 

* * *

Lexi peered through the window of Claire’s car, sceptically taking in their surroundings. When Claire said they were having a get-together she assumed it would be in a bar or something, not a dirty field in the middle of nowhere. She shifted in discomfort, pulling at the hem of her top. As well as coming along Claire had insisted she dress Lexi in clothes Preena would approve of. The punk felt disgusted with herself, the style being one she wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole. 

“We’re here~” Claire sang from the front seat. Lexi looked through the front window, spotting Hamm standing just in front of the car. He had a bottle of alcohol in hand and already looked thoroughly drunk. Phoenix turned around in the passenger seat, making a shooing motion with her hand. 

“Well, off you go.”

“Wait, aren’t you guys getting out?” Lexi questioned. The two girls in the front shared a malicious look that made Lexi’s skin crawl. 

“In a sec, just gotta touch up our makeup. Why don’t you go out there and start up a conversation?”

“Fine.” Wanting to get this over with Lexi got out the vehicle, her heels immediately sinking into the mud. She stepped around the car to where Hamm was leaning on the hood. 

“Hi Hamm.” Lexi greeted lamely. 

“Heeeey Lexeeee.” He slurred, lumbering towards her. “You are lookin’ fine tonight.” 

“Uh, thanks?” The possum swiftly took a step back. He continued towards her and, panicked, Lexi side-stepped, tripping him over. Hamm landed face first in the mud, groaning. 

“Oh fuck no!” She stomped back to the car and attempted to open the door but it was locked. She banged on the window. Claire and Phoenix just stared back, not moving. “Hey, open the door, arseholes. What’s going on?” 

Claire rolled down her window. “Oh, this was the deal. Hamm said he’d leave us alone if you came along.”

“So you’re avoiding date rape by putting me up for it?” 

Claire drew back, sneering. “God, you make it sound so ugly. 

“Uh-huh. Now open the bloody door!”

“Nope, not until you satisfy Hamm.” Lexi glanced at the pig boy, looking pretty much unconscious. She shook her head. 

“You know what, screw you guys!” 

Pulling the ridiculous heels off Lexi walked past the car and away from the group, heading towards the slope at the edge of the field. The fact that she had no idea where they were didn’t defer her. She’d get home some way, even if she had to walk barefoot.

“What the hell is this?” 

Lexi looked up. At the top of the slope Elmo’s moped was parked, the rat himself sat at the helm. She broke out in a relieved smile and bounded the rest of the way to run into Elmo’s awaiting arms. 

“Ugh, I was meant to be doing a favour for Claire and Phoenix.” Lexi explained, hugging him close. “Turns out that that favour was dealing with Hamm’s blue balls.” 

Elmo almost choked. “You didn’t…?”

“Don’t be stupid,” she chided. “I’d rather join Preena in the afterlife that let that pig anywhere near me.”

“Okay. Second question, what are you wearing?”

“Don’t ask.” Once they broke apart Lexi sat herself on the back of the moped, wrapping her arms around Elmo’s midsection. “Just get me home so I can get these bloody clothes off.

Elmo smirked, starting up the engine. “I think I can help with that.” 


	6. Our Love Is God

Lexi expected the next day of school to be your typical run of the mill time, avoiding Claire, Phoenix and Hamm while getting on with work. However she appeared to be garnering more attention than usual. Students were sniggering as she traipsed down the corridor between lessons, staring at her with amusement on their faces.

It was starting to get on her nerves and she vowed to find out why.

“Oi, Drake!” 

During lunch Lexi sort out Drake Mallard. The boy was renowned for getting in other people’s business and often was up on all the new rumours circulating around. 

She caught him at his locker, just having slammed the door shut. He startled at her call but quickly recovered, smoothing down his feathers.

“Lexi! How may I help you?”

“You know about everything that goes on at this school, mind telling me why the fuck everyone is giggling at me behind my back?”

“Oh.” He chuckled awkwardly, averting his eyes. “Now, I rarely listen to idiots like Hamm String but he’s been going around telling everyone he got quite acquainted with your mouth last night, if you get my drift.”

“Eww!” Lexi practically gagged at the very thought. “That son of a bitch!”

Drake shook his head sadly. “Sorry, but that’s what everyone believes.” 

To prove his point a deer girl who was passing called out “Hey Lexi, I hope you rinsed after last night.” 

Lexi fumed, snarling at the girl. “And I hope you have the recipe for that outfit. Fuck off!” 

The girl tutted and wandered away. Lexi turned back to Drake but the duck had too slipped off. She kept her head down as she went to find Elmo, already forming another revenge plot.

* * *

Elmo and Lexi were perched in the rat’s bedroom, his phone held to Lexi’s ear. She twirled the cable as she waited for the call to be picked up.

“Hello?” The moronic voice of Hamm answered. Lexi and Elmo tried not to snigger.

“Hi, Hamm,” Lexi said sweetly, putting as much charm into her voice as she could. “How did you know it was always a fantasy of mine to have you?”

“Uh, lucky guess?”

“Well if you want it to come true meet me in the woods behind the school at dawn.” 

She placed the phone down without waiting for an answer, immediately squealing with joy. 

“He fell for it!” 

“Knew he would.” Elmo was fiddling with a pair of orange gun-like devices. Lexi scooted forward to get a closer look. 

“What are those again?” 

“Shock guns,” Elmo stated proudly, holding one up for inspection. “A little invention of my mother’s. They administer an electric shock that’ll immobilize the body and make it look like Hamm is truly dead for a good while.” 

Lexi eyed it unsurely. “So it’s perfectly safe?” 

He lowered the gun, shooting her a puzzled look. “Since when do you care about Hamm’s wellbeing?”

“I don’t, I just don’t want to be accessory to another murder.” 

Elmo chuckled, elbowing her gently. “C’mon Lex, don’t say you regret what happened with Preena.”

“No, of course not. I just…” She frowned. “This is risky what we’re doing. I don’t wanna get caught.”

“Trust me, we won’t.” He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. “How’s Hamm’s suicide note coming along?” 

Lexi dug in her bag, producing the note. She cleared her throat and began to read.

“ _ I die the day I realised I could never reveal my true romantic feelings to an uncaring world. The joy I shared when in the arms of another man was greater than any touchdown, yet I was forced to live the lie of a dumb jock asshole.” _

“That’s perfect,” Elmo praised. She placed the note aside and he linked their fingers, gazing lovingly into her eyes. “Just remember, our love is God.”

She hummed, leaning forward to touch their foreheads together. "Indeed."

* * *

Lexi stood at the meeting point, gun hidden in the back of her skirt. Elmo too was hiding, keeping quiet as Hamm approached. He at least looked sober today, walking with his usual lumber. 

“Hey Lexi.”

“Hi there, Hamm.” She twittered, poised innocently. The pig boy paused a few paces away from her, scratching his head nervously.

“So, uh, do you want me to just whip it out or…”

“Take it slow Hamm,” Lexi winked. “Strip for me.” 

A stupid grin formed on his face and he wasted no time fighting out of his clothes, leaving him in just his boxers. He noticed Lexi hadn’t made a move to remove any of her own.

“What about you?”

Lexi simpered. “I was hoping you could rip my clothes off me, sport.”

He nodded eagerly. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“On the count of three.”

“One…”

“Two...”

“Three!” 

On cue Elmo jumped out from behind a tree, gun poised the same moment Lexi whipped out hers. They fired simultaneously, however both had overestimated how much of a kick the guns harboured, shots somehow missing. 

“Holy crap!” Hamm’s face turned panicked and he took off in a sprint away from the crazy pair. 

Elmo rounded on Lexi. “You missed!”

“Yeah,” she was cracking up, overjoyed at the reaction they’d garnered. “but the look on his face was worth it!”

Elmo didn’t think so, holding up his gun. 

“D-don’t worry, I’ll get him!”  He bolted in hot pursuit. “Hamm!  _ Hamm _ _!_ ”

“You‘re insane! Why are you chasing me?!”

Their voices echoed through the trees and Lexi too began scrambling after them, not wanting to miss a minute of the show.

Hamm was faster than Elmo, he wasn’t captain of the football team for nothing, but the rat was determined, years of torment at the hands of Hamm driving him on. Eventually he had Hamm cornered at the fence surrounding the area, the large teen unable to climb over.

Hamm looked around manically, searching for an exit that wasn’t blocked by a maniac rat with a gun. He turned so his back was against the fence, expression absolutely terrified.

“I don’t understand?!” 

“ _ You don’t understand?”  _ Elmo repeated, voice grim as his finger hovered over the trigger. “Are you really that fucking brain dead?” 

Hamm raised his palms in a calming gesture. “Hey, Elmo, we can work this out, I’m sorry for making moves on your girl!”

“This isn’t just about that.” The rat took a few steps closer. “This is for the years of abuse you caused me and many others. You don’t deserve to live.”

“Elmo, please!”

“Goodbye, Hamm String.”

Lexi skidded to a haunt just as Elmo pulled the trigger, a million volts shot straight into their tormentor. She watched in wondrous horror as Hamm writhed and screamed, the scent of burnt bacon wafting in the air. 

Eventually the screaming petered out, Hamm falling like a brick, lifeless, to the ground. 

Everything was silent save for Elmo’s rough breathing. The rat was shaking, gun finally lowering as he stared at the prone body of Hamm. 

Lexi approached slowly, coming to a stop by Elmo’s side. It was obvious the pig teen wasn’t just unconscious, no one could have survived a shock like that. 

“What…what have we done?” 

“What we’ve always wanted, Hamm String is dead.” Elmo sounded nothing but satisfied. Lexi looked at him, appalled and aghast. 

“You said it wouldn’t kill him!”

“On the lowest setting.” Elmo stayed matter of factually. “I set our guns to full power.” 

“ _ You-“ _

“Shh!”

Elmo put his fingers to her lips. Lexi was going to protest against the action when her ears picked up the sound of advancing footsteps. 

“It’s the cops.” Elmo said, a note of panic in his voice. “Quick, leave the note!” 

Hurriedly Lexi pulled out the note, dropping it by Hamm’s side before Elmo grabbed her hand, the pair rushing through the forest. 

Lexi panted, fear of being caught and adrenaline spurring her to flee. They reached where Elmo’s moped was parked; in a fit of frenzy they bundled onto the seat, Lexi in Elmo’s lap, locked in a furious kiss. 

A few moments later a cop burst from the trees. He glanced at the duo, both moaning and moving together to make it look as inconspicuous as they could. His radio buzzed, the cop turning from the pair to answer it. 

“What’s going down?”

“I just got two kids making out on a moped. Should I pry them apart?”

“No, forget it, I got all the answers back here.” 

“Right-o.”

With one last peek at the two teens he ran off, leaving them alone. 

Lexi broke the kiss, leaning back slightly. “That was a close call,” she puffed, out of breath. 

Elmo only nodded before hungrily claiming her lips again. 


	7. Seventeen

Even without Preena and Hamm around, school continued to be a nightmare. One of the teachers had got all uppity about ‘unity’ and ‘suicide awareness’, launching a chaotic campaign in the middle of the cafeteria that even got media attention. 

It was this madness that Elmo and Lexi watched on evening television, cuddled on the couch in the rat’s lounge. 

Lexi was working herself in a rage, the last few days having worn hard on her mental state. The possum had been vaguely unstable since Hamm’s death and things were reaching boiling point. 

“That _thing_ this afternoon, I’m so angry, it was chaos, fucking chaos!” Lexi ranted, throwing a pillow at the tv. Elmo wisely turned it off, flicking the radio on instead. 

“Well, chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling.” He didn’t seem at all miffed, in fact Elmo had been nothing but high spirits since their last murder. “Face it, Lex, our way is the way. We scare people into not being assholes.”

“You can’t be serious?” Lexi couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Elmo we...we can’t keep killing people. We got rid of our tormentors, isn’t that enough?” 

“Is that you talking or your conscious?” He countered.” Cause the way I see it, Love, you aren’t at all regretful for what happened. Your real feelings are just too icky for you to embrace them.” 

Lexi spluttered. “I...You…”

“Hey, they’re playing our song!” Elmo jumped up off the couch, rushing to the radio to turn it up.

_Teenage suicide_

_Don’t do it!_

_Teenage suicide_

_She blew it!_

He did a little jive, bopping his head to the beat as Lexi stared, unimpressed. Suddenly he pulled out the shock gun that had refused to leave his side since the incident, shooting a bolt of electricity at the radio. The music abruptly cut off, a few sparks flying from the now-dead device.

Lexi gasped. “That’s it!” She hopped up, marching towards the door. “We need to have a break.”

“What?” He caught her arm, gripping with surprising strength. “We’re at the top of our game! You can’t quit now.”

“Watch me, Elmo.” She pried off his fingers, continuing towards her destination. “Go blow up your toaster or something because I can’t deal with you right now!”

The front door slammed shut, Elmo flopping on the couch as the only girl he’d ever truly cared about left him. He hung his head, hands clenched into fists. 

“I’ll get her back…” He vowed, determination seeming into his voice. “Whatever it takes, I’ll get her back…”


End file.
